Posted by: angelnotes | September 25, 2009

Comfort in Loss

Loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult occurrences in that can happen in one’s life whether it is the loss of a friend or the loss of a family member.   This week, a dear friend of mine lost a relative.  The pain in her eyes made my heart ache for her even though I didn’t know the person.  Searching for words of comfort was almost impossible.  The only thing I knew to do was to hug her and let her release her grief.  It also made me flashback to the death of my grandmother that occurred in 2006.  One thing that it made me remember was that loss is never easy.

They say that there are five stages of guilt: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Sometimes, they happen at once, and sometimes they happen over a very long period of time.  When my grandmother first passed, I cried for days, even in my sleep.  I kept expecting her to come out of her room to get a bowl full of strawberries and sugar.  To make it worse, I was dreaming that they made a mistake, and she was still alive.  I would wake up and look in her room expecting to see her. Then, I became angry at myself for not taking better care of her.  I went to counseling and attended remembrance ceremonies to try to make it better.  It seemed to make it worse.  As a result, I shut the fact that it happened out.  When the holidays hit and I didn’t have her there to make me laugh, I just hid and slept.  Finally, after about a year and a half, I was able to let go.  I know that she is still with me. How cliché, right?  Well, I have her features, memories, pictures, advice, and much more.

The one thing I realized is that no matter how great the loss.  The loss is still there.  You still have to push through.  How?  Let yourself feel what you are feeling.  Ask the Lord to give you the comfort and strength that you need to push through. He’s not the cause of the pain. He’s the one who will walk with you through the pain and take it away.  He will give you the comfort that you need to push through, if you let Him.

To all who have lost loved ones, I pray that the Lord will give you the comfort and strength to push through.  It’s okay to hurt, cry, scream, sleep…Just remember, don’t shut God out.

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