Posted by: angelnotes | February 12, 2013

Check in day

So, I joined a support group of close friends that are on the same journey that I am.  Today was weigh-in day.  I, for the first time, shared my weight.  It took every power in my being to fight back the tears…fight back the shame…fight back…  It started out as a good day.  I ate right and exercise, but it’s just day 2.  I had no food for lunch for the week so I went to the grocery store.  I went straight to the fruits and vegetables.  Okay very yummy…but I walked through the store.  I passed the potato chips; I passed the cookies; I passed the cereal;  I passed.  Funny thing?  I didn’t pass them to resist.  I passed them because I didn’t want them.  So, what happens the day that I do want them?  Do I jump in and say “Forget it! Tomorrow’s a new day!”?  No,  I stop and think about the cost and if it’s worth it.  If I fall, I better be ready to burn the intake even more and/or give up something else. This isn’t just a journey to be fine.  Heck, my hubby loves all this.  My son still hugs me and wants to hang out.  My daddy still holds me and tell me that I’m his baby.  It’s about getting healthy; living healthy, so I can get healthy and stay around to keep getting that love.  

Posted by: angelnotes | March 18, 2010

Don’t sweat you are loved

Almost daily, I have been dealing with tension headaches.  I am constantly stressing out over juggling being everything to everybody…a great daughter…a great wife…a great mother…a great friend…a great pet owner.  Oftentimes, I hear, “Just stop and think about yourself for once.”  I do, I take an hour hear and there to stop.  Sometimes it’s enough and sometimes it isn’t.  Sometimes, I want to run away and change my name.  Then I remember one very important thing:  I am loved.  My parents love me; my husband loves me; my sons love me; my family loves me; and my friends love me.  I think how selfish is that to just leave them when they have given me what I need the most. 

My mom is the most wonderful and beautiful human being.  She doesn’t even realize how wonderful and beautiful she is.  She has been my rock my whole life even when I’m not hers when I need it the most.  My dad is the best, too.  Just knowing what he gave up so he could be a part of my life and have me as his daughter.  Both of them have sacrificed so much just so I can be successful.

My husband…I don’t know what I did to deserve him.  He’s a quirky pain in my butt, but the one thing I could never doubt is how much he loves me.  He knows me better that I know myself, which sometimes can be very scary.

My sons?  Yes, they give me more grief than I can bare sometimes…especially the older one.  But even today, when I look at them, I still the same sweet babies that I held in my arms.  Secretly, as much as I act like it irritates me, I still love it when they say “Mom, can you make me something to eat or drink.”  I just will never like, “Mom can you buy me….”

My family, even I don’t see them for a long time…they still make it point make sure that I know that they love me.

My friends.  Most people are blessed with just that one special friend.  I have been blessed with many.  These are friends that I have been through this and thin with.  Friends that have known me for so long…they are family.

So why am I sharing this with you?  Well, you may or may not have as many people in your life that show you love as I do, but I’m sure you have somebody who loves you.  Somebody who needs you as much as you need them.  They may not be in the shape and form that you expect, but they are there.  Finally and most importantly, our Great God the most high loves you.  He is your Father, Mother, Family, and Friend.

Until next time my friends.

Posted by: angelnotes | October 14, 2009

Don’t Let Your Faith Fall

This weekend, I attended a Bible study.  We were researching the Rapture.  We were researching proof of a pre-tribulation Rapture.  Well, personally, I believe in one, but truthfully, if it doesn’t occur when I, a mere human being, expect it to, then that’s okay. It’s not my timing, it’s God’s timing.  Many people laugh at that belief.  We get upset, tuck our heads, and huff.  By doing this, we are losing the person that we are speaking to and ourselves.  By saying that, I mean that we are losing ourselves to discord.

One thing that is occurring today is that much discord is being sewn between each other, both inside and outside of church.  We argue over doctrinal tradition and forget why we are gathering together in the first place.  We gather together united as believers and followers of Yeshua Hamashiach.  That’s where our eyes should be.

So ask yourself this: If God doesn’t do what you expected, are you going to take your eyes off of Him?  Unfortunately, many will.  Don’t let yourselves get so caught up in man’s doctrine and you are ignoring God’s doctrine.  So, I challenge you to open God’s Word and look for yourselves.  Don’t let somebody else tell you what it says…not your pastor, not your parents, not man. Let God tell you Himself because He will give you the answers.  When you want to know something and a source of that knowledge is close by don’t you go to that source instead of asking the person next to you that’s still learning?  Well, He’s close by.  All you have to do is ask.

Posted by: angelnotes | September 25, 2009

Comfort in Loss

Loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult occurrences in that can happen in one’s life whether it is the loss of a friend or the loss of a family member.   This week, a dear friend of mine lost a relative.  The pain in her eyes made my heart ache for her even though I didn’t know the person.  Searching for words of comfort was almost impossible.  The only thing I knew to do was to hug her and let her release her grief.  It also made me flashback to the death of my grandmother that occurred in 2006.  One thing that it made me remember was that loss is never easy.

They say that there are five stages of guilt: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Sometimes, they happen at once, and sometimes they happen over a very long period of time.  When my grandmother first passed, I cried for days, even in my sleep.  I kept expecting her to come out of her room to get a bowl full of strawberries and sugar.  To make it worse, I was dreaming that they made a mistake, and she was still alive.  I would wake up and look in her room expecting to see her. Then, I became angry at myself for not taking better care of her.  I went to counseling and attended remembrance ceremonies to try to make it better.  It seemed to make it worse.  As a result, I shut the fact that it happened out.  When the holidays hit and I didn’t have her there to make me laugh, I just hid and slept.  Finally, after about a year and a half, I was able to let go.  I know that she is still with me. How cliché, right?  Well, I have her features, memories, pictures, advice, and much more.

The one thing I realized is that no matter how great the loss.  The loss is still there.  You still have to push through.  How?  Let yourself feel what you are feeling.  Ask the Lord to give you the comfort and strength that you need to push through. He’s not the cause of the pain. He’s the one who will walk with you through the pain and take it away.  He will give you the comfort that you need to push through, if you let Him.

To all who have lost loved ones, I pray that the Lord will give you the comfort and strength to push through.  It’s okay to hurt, cry, scream, sleep…Just remember, don’t shut God out.

Posted by: angelnotes | September 21, 2009

What Do You Think About?

Where do you do your best thinking and pondering?  Me?  Well, my best thinking is done within four little light green and white walls.  Yes, folks, it is my bathroom in a nice warm shower.  What was I thinking about?  I was thinking about something I try to often think about…what has God done for me?  As usual, I thought of my life as everyone sees it.  I have a husband, two beautiful sons, loving parents, and terrific friends.  As I attempt to think deeper, things that come to mind are even more material: home, food, job, car, etc.  And, while I am very grateful and realize that I have more than most, there is only one thing that I should have thought of first.  He loved me so much that He died for me.

  • Before I was, He died for me.
  • Before I took my first breath, He died for me.
  • Before I ate my first bite or spoke my first word, He died for me.
  • Before anything I have done or will do, He died for me.
  • Before I chose him to be Lord of my life, He died for me. 

Isn’t it amazing that is not often the first thought?  The first thought is normally something tangible.  The fact is, whether or not you have accepted or rejected Him, He still loved you so much that He died for you. 

Think about it.  A perfect God left the comforts and beauty of heaven and came to this earth to be a poor lowly carpenter’s son, not the son of a rich king.  He grew up to be a teacher and healer who lived among the poor, not a person of power.  His closest friends were fishermen and other unnoticeable characters, not people with status.  He came as a perfect God who allowed imperfect man to beat Him with bone, glass, spikes…etc, to strip Him of His clothes, to spit on Him, humiliate Him, and to hang Him on a tree.  In the midst of this, He still showed forgiveness for man.  In the midst of this, He showed His love and mercy.  In the midst of this, He shouldered all of this to save us.  Would you have done it?  Could you have done it?  Sometimes, I shudder at the pain He went through for ALL of us.

For those of you, who refuse the documented and founded evidence of this occurrence, remember this:  He still loves you and died for you, too.  He did not just die for those who choose Him.  He still died for all of us.  He still is the perfect sacrifice.

What many of us go through in a lifetime is nothing to what He went through in a couple of days.  Sure, many were treated and died in a similar way.  But, if you were omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, omni-benevolent, what would you do?  As a human, I would just start over or “trash” the project.  He didn’t.  He came to fix what WE broke.  Oh yeah, people, He created us in perfection.  We screwed up and lost it, but still, He loved every single one of us so much that He died for us.  In other words, He fixed it.

So, in your peaceful quiet spot, what do you think about?

Posted by: angelnotes | September 21, 2009

Hello Everyone!!!!

Hi Everyone.  Here is my first post.  I will be doing short stories and articles.  I will try to post something new each week.  Please enjoy and feel free to comment.  This is a growing process for me as I publically begin my journey as a writer.  I have been writing ever since I was thirteen.  I have written short stories, articles, poems, and even a couple of books.  I am now ready to “share” with my family, friends, aquaintances, and the world.  Please enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing.


Posted by: angelnotes | September 21, 2009

Hello world!

Hi Everyone! I’m starting my writing career.  I will try posting often.  I hope tht you enjoy my writing and please tell your friends.


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